Sunday, 28 September 2014

First World Problems (Beauty Edition)

First World Problems

Oh, it's such a hard life to be a middle class, white, British teenager. And it's even harder to wear makeup, because let me tell you, there are sure some problems out there which just make me get my knickers in a twist. So when I furiously get my orange fingerprints all over my white dresser, I thought, why not ease the pain of the strain and put it on the internet for everyone to either a) laugh at my life or b) relate?

...eyelash curling takes sooo long. If you're not blessed with daddy-long-legs eyelashes, then you're probably familiar with the treacherous device which is an eyelash curler. Those two minutes holding the freezing cold metal on your eyelashes at 7am could be spent in bed.  'nuff said.

...once mascara's on, it's a biatch to fix. Yep, smudge your eyeshaddow? Cotton bud'll do the trick. Overused foundation? Hello Mr Makeup Wipe. But gone too OTT with the old mascara? Once you've gone black, there's no going back.

...eyebrows are sisters, not twins? LOL. Mine aren't even related. They're different races, different nationalities, they don't speak the same language. One lives in Italy, one's in Indonesia. Can't they just look the same?

...there's no good way to blend in your foundation. Hello, I'm a sponge and I'll give you literally no coverage. Hello, I'm a brush and I'll shed all over your face and soak up all your product. Hello, I'm your fingers and once you're done blending you'll get the remainder of me all over your white surfaces and nice makeup .

First World Problems

...a daily battle of dewy face or long lasting makeup. Do you want to apply a gorgeous, dewy glow foundation and then powder it down so it lasts longer? Yes? There's a catch. The powder will get rid of any dew, so bye-bye Mr Glow.

...MAC prices are rising as much as my frustration. MAC, a multi-millionaire business honestly doesn't give two hoots about us having to pay a billion squid for a few items. Bruh.

...once you've swatched, there's no going back. Yeah, that oh-so-pretty red lipstick you swatched on the back of your hand doesn't look so pretty any more, half an hour later when it's smudged and looks like you're had a nosebleed and caught the snotty blood with the back of your hand. fingers, nice packaging. You'll touch your desk, your nice NARS palette or your white brush and suddenly it's got a bit of a crazy dip-dye ombre going on, and really not in a good way.

I hope you enjoyed hearing my daily battles with makeup, and let me know if you could feel the steam from my fingers as I typed, furiously expressing my hatred for the 'small things.'

It's funny because we choose to wear makeup, and moan at the consequences.

What Silly Billies we are.

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Disclaimer- I'm aware that people on the internet get their knickers in a twist very easily, so to come out front I am not being in any way snobbish, suggesting that my life is hard compared to others, or intending to cause any indirect offence. It's just a light-hearted, Sunday blogpost :)   
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